


leave your lover

by kaimchana



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Infidelity, M/M, implied!sulay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-12
Updated: 2017-09-12
Packaged: 2018-12-26 23:25:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12069090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaimchana/pseuds/kaimchana
Summary: Set my midnight sorrows freeI would give you all of meJust leave your loverLeave him for me





	leave your lover

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is unbeta-ed and highly inspired by Sam Smith's [ song of the same title as this work](https://open.spotify.com/track/0Qat527YoBrS530u1dygjz). let's all come to conclusion that i'm not good at writing notes. let's cry together.

_ You’ll never know the endless nights, _

_The rhyming of the rain_

__

 

The sound of the rain tapping on his window fills the room as Kyungsoo buries his body deeper onto his blankets, shivering from the cold that is definitely not coming from the rain and wind outside the safety of his unit.

 

He hears the click of the lock as the door closed, it’s the cue for the tears that has been filling his eyes to fall since he had came down from his pleasure and high. Kyungsoo breathes in, and he both hates and loves the smell that surrounds him.

 

_ It fucking hurts but it also keeps his heart beating. _

 

_   
_ _ We sit in bars _

_ And raise our drinks to growing old _

_ Oh, I'm in love with you  _

_ And you will never know _

 

Everyone had a smile plastered to their faces, genuine happiness radiating around them as they celebrate the end their junior year. Everyone’s in for the celebration. Everyone but Kyungsoo.

 

He’s smiling. But he feels fucking empty as he stares at the way Jongin leans in close to Taemin, planting a kiss on the man’s jaw after whispering something to him. A smirk finds its way on Taemin’s face, he turns to Jongin and wrestles the man into a kiss. They were pretty far away and the music is loud, but Kyungsoo can hear Jongin giggling through the Taemin’s lips.

 

He knows how it feels because last night Jongin is pretty much doing the same thing to him. His pretty eyes crinkling as Kyungsoo keeps on dropping pecks on his pouty lips.

 

_ “Soo, stop teasing,” Jongin whines through what he thinks is the 40th kiss. “Just fuck me already.” _

 

_ The lust clouding his eyes intensifies and Kyungsoo gulps because Jongin looks so beautiful splayed out like that under him. Ready to be worshipped. Ready for Kyungsoo to take him. _

 

_ “So fucking beautiful,” Kyungsoo whispers as he unbutton his jeans, shimmying out of it and his boxers. “So mine.” _

 

_ But that’s where the line is drawn because Jongin is never his. Jongin was never his. And Kyungsoo can only hope that one day he could be.  _

 

_ But it has been a year and Kyungsoo should’ve known by now not to expect Jongin to stay. To always tiptoe out of the room, out the door, away from Kyungsoo and taking his heart with him. _

 

_ Only to be handed to him broken as Jongin pretends they were just casual friends who does friend things. Like hangout and share homeworks, no kissing, no fucking and definitely no “I love you”s whispered as they both reach climax. _

 

He scoffs, drinking the last of his beer before making his way to where Baekhyun and his other friends are.

 

“Hey, I gotta go,” he shouts on his best friend’s ear through the noise. Junmyeon turns to look at him, his hands busy playing with Yixing’s bigger ones. “Why? You just came here!” 

 

“I-”

 

“Kyungsoo,” an all too familliar voice calls and Kyungsoo tries hard not to flinch. And tells his heart to stop beating so fast everytime he hears it. “Is there a problem?”

 

Kyungsoo turns to Jongin and looks around him, Taemin is a good distance away, talking animatedly to their colleagues.

 

“Hey,” Kyungsoo greets the tanned male. “N-nothing’s wrong. What are you doing here?” He puts his shaking hands inside his pocket, trying to act calm and collected when his emotion is a whirlwind now that Jongin is in front of him. 

 

Jongin nods. “Oh, I just.. Are you leaving? I’m kinda wondering if you can accompany me somewhere?” he asks, his front teeth worrying his bottom lip as he looks at Kyungsoo through his lashes.

 

Warning bells ring in Kyungsoo’s mind. He should say no. He knows where this is going. An all too familiar situation and he should’ve known better. 

 

_ But can you really say no to the person you love? _

 

_ Or how it feels to fall behind and watch you call his name _

 

“Jongin? Jongin, hey, are you okay?” Kyungsoo shakes the boy awake. He runs to Jongin’s dorm as fast as he can when Jongdae, Jongin’s roommate, called him and asked him to look after the sick boy since he can’t because of his classes.

 

Jongin shots up from his bed, looking around and trying to make sense of his surroundings. Kyungsoo can see the swelling of his eyes, must be from the colds. He reaches out a hand to check the boy’s temperature and tries not to frown as Jongin flinches.

 

“Hey, you have fever,” Kyungsoo says, getting some medicine from the plastic bag on his feet. “Have you eaten?” 

 

“Where’s Taemin?” Jongin asks, rubbing on his eyes. Kyungsoo blinks for a moment, trying to ignore the bile rising on his throat as he gives Jongin a smile.

 

“Jongdae had called me. He said you were sick, why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve gone earlier to take care of you-”

 

“Please call Taemin,” Jongin pleads, his voice quiet and he’s looking directly at Kyungsoo now.

 

And now, Kyungsoo was usually a man with patience. But, something just snaps in him and he doesn’t hold it in. 

 

“What the fuck, Jongin?! I’m here! I’m here and you’re looking for your boyfriend? Can’t I be enough for now?” he snaps at the boy and he watches as Jongin grimaces, taking in what he had just said. “Kyung-” 

 

The door opens and they both turn to see who it is. Jongin’s eye waters as he meets the eye of the new visitor and Kyungsoo wants to laugh.  _ Fucking perfect. _

 

“Hey, everything okay?” Taemin asks from the doorway of Jongin’s dorm room, taking off his shoes, his eyes never leaving the other two. “Hey, Soo-hyung. Thanks for taking care of Jongin,” the man smiles at him and something in Kyungsoo’s stomach turns.

 

He nods and retreats to the kitchen, muttering a “I’ll just put this inside” while pointing to the bag of grocery on his hand.

 

He comes back to Jongin curled up to Taemin’s side, the younger’s face buried on Taemin’s neck as the latter plays with his hair.

 

Kyungsoo clears his throat. 

 

“I’m going,” he mutters and the two boys on the bed look up at him. Taemin offers a smile again, thanking him once more. Kyungsoo looks over at Jongin, their gazes locking and this time,

 

it was Kyungsoo who turned away first, heading for the door.

  
  


Jongin calls him later that night. Apologizing for his behavior and thanking him for his concern. Kyungsoo was ready to let it go, until he hears Jongin giggling, Taemin’s name spilling from his lips and Kyungsoo doesn’t even want to imagine what that was about. He hangs up.

 

_ Pack up and leave everything _ _   
_ _ Don't you see what I can bring _ _   
_ _ Can't keep this beating heart at bay _ _   
_ _ Set my midnight sorrow free _ _   
_ __ I will give you all of me

 

Kyungsoo’s head meets the wall as Jongin’s arms locks him in place, his thighs wrapped around the man’s waist. 

 

“Jongin,” he moans as Jongin thrusts up to brush their bulges together, his lips busy sucking on Kyungsoo’s neck. Nothing can save Kyungsoo now.

 

They lips met in a heated kiss as soon as their gazes meet once Jongin is done with his neck, a tongue sneaking its way in the moment Kyungsoo’s mouth open in another moan, licking through every walls and tangling with his tongue.

 

Everything is throbbing. His heart, his head and the hard-on inside his jeans. The wet sound of their lips smacking making everything better.

 

Jongin pulls him away from the wall, settling him down on his bed and hurriedly stripping both of them off their clothes, body molding in each other as soon as constraints are removed.

 

Moans and groans fills the room as well as the sound of skin slapping on skin. Kyungsoo’s hand tangling on Jongin’s hair to pull him down in an open kiss, their bodies moving with each other, the frame of the bed hitting the wall mixing with all the sounds they make.

 

“K-Kyungsoo.. Fuck, Kyungsoo. I love you,” Jongin grunts on his lips as he works his hips faster, pushing inside Kyungsoo with more force and Kyungsoo can only cry in reply, his body sensitive as he feels Jongin’s cock hitting the bundle of nerves inside him. “So beautiful.”

 

A shout of each other name as they both reach their climax is heard followed by grunts and heavy breathes. Kyungsoo opens his eyes, meeting Jongin’s deep warm ones.

 

“Hey,” he smiles, chest still heaving up and down. Jongin reaches a hand out and tucks a stray hair on Kyungsoo’s ear. “Hey yourself,” he retorts.

 

Jongin didn’t leave this time. He had Kyungsoo lying down on his chest as they both settled on the older’s bed after cleaning up and getting dressed. Kyungsoo smiles and thinks that he can live with this as long as Jongin stays with him. As long as Jongin loves him.

 

But Kyungsoo realizes that it wasn’t enough.

 

It wasn’t enough because he doesn’t want to keep seeing Jongin like this anymore. In a pretense of studying together or doing project. He wants to date Jongin freely. He wants to show everyone who Jongin really belongs to.

 

“Hey,” he whispers, looking up at Jongin who raises an inquisitive eyebrow at him. “Let’s run away.”

 

They were only months to graduation and Kyungsoo had saved up some money from the part time jobs he took the last three summers he spent in university. He thinks it’s enough. He should be enough. And Jongin did say that he loves him, right?

 

But the look on Jongin’s face, even with only the dim light from the living room, breaks Kyungsoo’s heart. 

 

“I can’t. I-I can’t leave Taemin.”

 

“Why?” Kyungsoo knows why. 

 

“Kyungsoo, I can’t break his heart. Taemin is… He is a constant in my life. I can’t lose him.”

 

At this, Kyungsoo sits up. “What am I then? A temporary fixture?”

 

Jongin follows and waves his hand frantically. “K-Kyungsoo! No! Why would you think that? It’s just that… Taemin had always been there. I can’t… I can’t imagine life without him,” Jongin admits, his voice getting quiet as he ends his sentence.

 

Kyungsoo washes his hands on his face, feeling the dampness on his cheeks. 

 

“You said you love me.”

 

“I do,” Jongin exclaims in an instant. 

 

“Leave Taemin and be with me if you really do.” It’s selfish. Kyungsoo knows it is, but he can’t keep on doing this. He knows Jongin can do it. Jongin has him. He can be Taemin’s replacement. 

 

Unless there was another reason on why Jongin can’t.

 

Jongin sucks in a breath, turning to him. “Kyungsoo, I can’t,” he says, voice rising in frustration because Kyungsoo doesn’t seem to get it. “I can’t leave him, okay? He… He already proposed to me. And I said yes. We already had our future planned.”

 

It feels like a punched on Kyungsoo’s gut. The air left him and he gasps, tears spillig freely down his eyes.

 

“Kyungsoo,” Jongin calls his name and Kyungsoo used to love it. Now he despises it.

 

“Leave,” he says in a shaky voice. Jongin reaches out to touch his arms but Kyungsoo pushes him away. “Leave, Jongin.”

 

“Hyung.”

 

“You’re a coward,” Kyungsoo spits at him and Jongin winces. “I should’ve known better. I’m such a fucking idiot. Please leave.”

 

Jongin stands up to gather him in a hug but Kyungsoo resists him. “Don’t touch me. Just go. Go and live your perfect planned-out life with your perfect boyfriend.”

 

“Soo, please. Listen to me-”

 

“What for, Jongin?! What do I need to hear? How you love me but you love him more? I’m just… Let’s stop this. We should’ve stopped this the moment it started. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I played your game. Please just go.” Kyungsoo is almost pleading. Jongin stays rooted on where he’s standing and Kyungsoo takes it as his cue to drag the man out of his apartment.

 

“Kyungsoo, you don’t have to do this-”

 

“JUST GO, JONGIN!” he snaps, opening the door to push the man out of his apartment and slamming it close. He slides down the door, crying, blocking the knocks and shouts from the other side. “We’re done.”

 

_ And as the footsteps outside gets farther away, Kyungsoo’s heart shatters pieces by pieces. _

  
  


_Just leave your lover,_

_Leave him for me._

  
  


2 years later. 

 

Kyungsoo pressed up against the dirty wall of the boy’s washroom in the club, a very angry Jongin holding his wrist.

 

“Leave him, Kyungsoo. Leave him and come with me.” 

 

The mix of furry and sadness in Jongin’s eyes should have shaken Kyungsoo, he should be kissing it away from Jongin now, reassuring the man that he will. But he’s not the same Kyungsoo from two years ago. He’s not making the same mistake again.

 

And he loves Baekhyun just like how Baekhyun had love him from through the days that he can’t bring to love himself.

  
  


_ “No. I’m not making the same mistake, Jongin.” _

  
  



End file.
